Jake and Jen are sitting at a desk in her bedroom. As he’s trying to explain what a thesis statement is, Jen continues to stare out into space. He notices, takes the tip of his pen and pokes her arm.
Jen: Wow Jakey, I’m getting wet just thinking about you.
Jake: Yah?
Jen: Mmm yah, I want you in me so bad.
Jen licks her lips in a pathetic attempt at seducing the evidently uninterested Jake.
Jake: Um, you do?
Jen: Totally!
Jake: Look, I thought you needed help with your paper. I’m not sure what’s going on here.
As he says this, she takes out her lip gloss and dips her pinkie into the sparkly pink gunk. She applies a thick layer of the gloss and then smacks her lips together. Jake looks at her with a slight hint of disgust. He awaits a reply but Jen decides to apply a second layer of gunk to her far from luscious lips.
Jen: Oh, well I thought since like, you and Tammy broke up, you were like, available…you know?
Jake: Jen, I might be available but that doesn’t mean I’m ready for anything right now.
Jen: Oh, yah I totally, totally, totally get it. You’re still like, sad right?
As she vomits each word she gets closer and closer to Jake’s face. He gets up and says:
Jake: Uh, sure.
Jen gets up and as she does so, she drops her pen and fails in convincing Jake it was an innocent accident. He does not want to see anything that might make him sick, so he looks out the window. He notices a small dog, the kind that you always picture a MILF having. Evidently, he’s being held by a middle aged woman who isn’t that bad looking but could lose some fat in the ass area. He then thinks that he’d much rather be that shitty useless dog right now then being stuck in this room with a raging, horny hoebag.
Jen: Yah, I don’t know how like, I’d react if my boyfriend told me he was like, gay. I mean, that’s so embarrassing…you must be like…embarrassed? But its okay, I really don’t care.
Jake: Kind of, but I’m more scared then anything else…
Jen: Oh my god! Like really scared? Oh Jakey, you poor thing!
Jake: Um…
As she starts walking closer and closer to him, he realizes he’s probably being cornered. Fuck.
Jen: Don’t move away, I’m here for you. She grabs his hand. He feels the left over gunk transferring onto his palm. He feels sick. Talk to me, I promise I can totally make you feel all better. It’s like, I’m gifted…you know?
He thinks for a second but not long enough to be able to do anything productive.
Jake: Look, it’s your pussy full of scary shit that I’m fucking scared of. He squeezes out of the corner and walks over to his coat and bag. Sorry. Jen, you’re a nice girl, but you’re also a dirty girl. Not my kind of dirty.
As she looks up at him he swears she’s about to go insane. Fuck.
Jen: Wow. You’re like, a total jerk! Why are you all still talking about that? I’m totally treating it okay? Like, how do you think I feel? I’m totally a victim in all of this, you know? Like, God! I know how to protect others from it, I’m not an idiot Jakey! Like no wonder Tammy turned totally gay.
For a few seconds he see’s the image of him walking in on Tammy and his cousin Jill. He remembers thinking it was hot, but it was with his cousin who was kind of on the porky side. Nonetheless, it’s probably the best way to get dumped.
Jake: I doubt I fucking turned her into a dyke Jen.
He thinks back to when he’d fuck her in her parent’s waterbed. He remembers her loving it, not only liking it, but really loving it. What a funny bitch.
Jen: Well you did...or like didn't do something seeing as she came to me like, needing to be satisfied so badly. Like really badly Jakey. Poor girl hadn’t had an orgasm in forevs! Tragic. But I totally helped her out though, Jakey. I told you, I’m like super gifted. In fact I kind of pushed her to live her real identity.
Jake: What do you mean?
Jen: Like, we spent the night together and like within a week she was all like, thinking of leaving you. She cracks a devilish smile. Only, you caught her in the act which is much better. Like, totally funny.
He quickly processes her sickening revelation. It hits him. Fuck!
No comments:
Post a Comment